The Curious Case of Fred Lewis.

This is Fred Lewis:

He plays right field for the Cincinnati Reds. Hi there, Fred Lewis.

This is also Fred Lewis:

Wow, Fred, you've changed.

Actually, this is a Beanie Baby whose "birth name" (whatever, Ty Industries) is Swirly. Allyson renamed him Fred Lewis. Yes, after the baseball player. Which, when you consider the fact that Ben and I are trying to raise her as a Cardinals fan, is super-weird.

One lazy weekend afternoon in January, Ben and I were puttering around the living room and Ally was playing in her room. We had on MLB Network; they were announcing that the Reds had signed Fred Lewis (the baseball player) to a one-year deal. It is at this point that Allyson walks into the room with her snail.

"I have a snail!" she announced.

"Great!" I said. "Does he have a name?"

"Uh... I don't know."

Then Matt Vasgersian (did I spell that right? Does anyone spell that right?) went over the particulars of the contract: "The Reds sign veteran outfielder Fred Lewis to a one-year deal worth..."

"His name is Fred Lewis," Allyson said.

"Really?"

"Yep. Fred Lewis."

And the name stuck.

This last week Allyson and I were driving home from church. She dropped Fred Lewis (the snail) on the floor of my van. Luckily I was able to reach him so I could toss him back to her; unluckily he bounced off the side of her car seat and landed on the seat next to her, just out of reach.

Then, she started to cry. "I WILL NEVER GET FRED LEWIS BACK!!" she wailed.

So that was the scene: A two and a half year old crying about Fred Lewis, and her mother trying not to laugh (and failing rather miserably).

If Fred Lewis (the baseball player) finds out about this: just know that somewhere, somehow, the offspring of a pair of Cardinals fans thinks you are awesome enough to name a snail after.