Yeah, yeah, that list thing I was doing. I'll get back to that. Maybe.
For now, I need to tell you about Allyson.
She was born on a super-hot July afternoon, two weeks before her due date thanks to a bout of preeclampsia. We tried for a baby for six years. I found out I was pregnant the day after Christmas, 2007; I almost lost her three weeks later due to some random bleeding. Nobody knew what caused it to start, and there's no official medical explanation as to why I stopped. But I know why: I asked God to save her, and He did.
She's always been full of energy and content to do her own thing. It never seemed like a problem until she hit school. Her first grade teacher brought it up at conferences - "She's a sweet girl, very bright, just has a little trouble paying attention sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it, though."
Her second grade teacher brought it up at conferences - "I love having Allyson in my class. She's very smart and very sweet. She does have trouble paying attention sometimes, but I think she can control it in the future."
This year, third grade, was different. At fall conferences her teacher brought it up again. Two months later, she asked us in for a special conference. She was having trouble concentrating, and it was starting to affect her schoolwork. Ben asked, as we have for three years, if she thought it was something Allyson could control. To our surprise, she said no.
So we took her to the doctor. Before that appointment I prayed for answers. I wasn't praying for a specific answer; just anything. Why is she struggling? What can I do to help? Is she going to be okay? Is she going to have to repeat third grade?
The answer came: A diagnosis of ADHD.
Did you guys know that there are three different types of ADHD? I sure as heck didn't.
- Predominantly Inattentive Type is the type that Allyson has. Kids with this are prone to daydreaming, have trouble focusing on single tasks, have a hard time organizing their thoughts, and so on and so forth.
- Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type is the type that most people think of when they hear the term ADHD. They fidget, they're restless, they talk often and out of turn, they're always on the go.
- Combination Type is little bits of both types.
I admit to being both relieved and heartbroken as we drove from the doctor's office immediately to her Girl Scout meeting. She hopped out of the van, waved goodbye, and ran to her friend who was arriving at the same time. After she went in, I pulled into a space at the church where her troop meets and cried. I was kind of, I don't know, confused. We prayed six years for this child, and God gives her to us and she's... broken? What am I supposed to do with that?
As I sat there, I thought about it. He didn't give me a broken child. He gave me His child. He made her this way, which is perfect. And He trusts me to give this child the best life I can.
After much research and advice from her doctor, we did decide to try and help control it with medicine. And, let me tell you guys, it's made a world of difference. Her handwriting is improving. Her grades are getting better. Her teacher found a paper with handwriting she didn't recognize and when she saw it was Allyson's paper she almost cried because it looked so nice. I know some people are against it, but we decided to give it a go; especially after her doctor said we could try something else if we didn't like the way it affected her.
It has not affected her personality one bit. She's sweet and stubborn and has a lot to say about everything. She loves Disney movies and video games. She loves Roblox and Minecraft. She loves the Legend of Zelda games so much, she dressed as Link for Halloween last year. She is a Pokemon fiend who can tell you what each Pokemon evolves into without even having to look it up (and then, in the next breath, will tell you that she's "not a Pokemon expert").
And Allyson is still very, very compassionate. Her teachers have told me that she cares very deeply about her friends and classmates. She actively seeks out lonely kids on the playground and asks them to play. "Even if they say no," she says, "at least they know someone cares." She goes out of her way to make the new kid in school feel welcome. The other day she rushed in the door from school and to the computer to write a letter to her friend Griffin, who was hospitalized recently. She wanted him to know that she loved him and was praying for him and she had to do it RIGHT NOW, Mommy. She is fiercely protective of her friends and even recently stood up to someone who was bullying her bestie. She was bullied herself - but (get this) forgave the kid. I am still mad at the lady that yelled at me at work two weeks ago for not having pumpkin pie filling, and Allyson forgave this girl.
(This also tells you I have a lot to learn about forgiveness.)
When I'm having a rough time with her (it still happens), I just have to remind myself of the conclusion God let me to: He trusts me with His child. He trust me to do a good job. And I am doing a good job.
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